literally had 100 drinks last night.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
