She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
