There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
