Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize