May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
