I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize