Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
