Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we made out on top of his cat.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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