She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
