i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is my gift to your gina
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
