Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
