But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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