Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
