he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
