I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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