At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
