I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
