i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
worst night to have a conscience
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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