So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
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Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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