There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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