take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
