if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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