apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
