drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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