First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
