ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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