in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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