worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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