So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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