You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just gargled with NyQuil
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
