Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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