Non-Jews are for practice
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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