I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
