Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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