Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
