How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
