My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
