I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize