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He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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