I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Found the puke drawer
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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