what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
