SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
