So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
