No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
