Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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