He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
