thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
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Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum