i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize