grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She has the best kind of daddy issues