he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
