is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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