what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
