its not stalking. its research.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
