Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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