Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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