You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize