just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
