Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
