is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
